What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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