I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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