How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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