i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
