You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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