Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
