all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
