1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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