capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
