She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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