yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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