3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the liver wants what the liver wants
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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