We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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