..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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