We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
