just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
