That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
