I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
