So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
