Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
