somebody snuck up and got me drunk
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
