His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize