4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
