Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
