Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
