just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
