i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
