Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
