And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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