I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
