i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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