I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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