Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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