i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
