at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
