all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
