New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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