I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize