So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
