last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
