Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize