haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
