I cannot find my penis.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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