I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we made out on top of his cat.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
