Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
