Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
