If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
