i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
