yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize