im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
