No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it wasn't lemon gatorade
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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