I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
