i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize