I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
