He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
