do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
