why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Duck Duck Cougar?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize