haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
