you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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