Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When are your genitals available?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
