i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
