He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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