the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
