They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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