Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
