I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
